Guest Don Gillespie Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 pyromill wrote: Dan,Thank you for providing a start to the past when we all had fun and got to laugh at something on the forums without all the attacks!Thank you.. even though i knew that joke before, it was awesome to see you post it out of the blue.Edit portion...That's why my wife has her gyno call her phone only just had throw a dig in though didn't you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Don Gillespie wrote: pyromill wrote: Dan,Thank you for providing a start to the past when we all had fun and got to laugh at something on the forums without all the attacks!Thank you.. even though i knew that joke before, it was awesome to see you post it out of the blue.Edit portion...That's why my wife has her gyno call her phone only just had throw a dig in though didn't youMaybe he's tryin' for some free controllers and RGB pixels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james campbell Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 LightORamaDan wrote: pyromill wrote:Dan,Thank you for providing a start to the past when we all had fun and got to laugh at something on the forums without all the attacks!Thank you.. even though i knew that joke before, it was awesome to see you post it out of the blue.Edit portion...That's why my wife has her gyno call her phone only There is a time and place for everything....I remember this joke that my Dad (rest his soul) told me when I was a kid. First joke of the type he told me and I will never forget it.A family’s Grandpa was visting from Itialy and they decided to take him to is first base ball game.He was interested to understand this new game but was a bit confused by all the rules.The first batter came up and got three strikes and was out. The old man in an Italian accent said, What a happened there? They throw the ball and he just goes back and sits down. Grandpa the batter has to get a hit if he wants to get on base. The important thing is to get on base.Next batter gets up and hits a ball almost to the center field wall and it is caught. Grandpa says… Whats a going on here. He hits a the ball a mile and he does not get on base. Grandpa they caught the ball so he is out.Next Joe Dimaggio gets up to bat, takes 4 pitches and is walked.. he then starts walking on down to first base.Grandpa says now I do not understand at all. Joe didn’t hit anything and he gets to get on base. The grandson say, Grandpa, he got 4 balls so he gets to go on base. And Grandpa says. Joe gots a 4 balls? Shouts out: Hey walk a proudly Joe walk a proudly!It was pretty funny when I was 10!heck still funny and I'm 38 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james campbell Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Reindeer's Story at ChristmasAccording to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.We should have known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightORamaDan Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 Shubb wrote:When my son was 6 he came home and wanted to tell me a joke. He could barely stop giggling long enough to get out the punch line."What did the man say when he walked into a bar?" he said.(I was a bit interested in where a 6 year old was going with this, but I bit)"I don't know, what did he say?""Ouch!"My son is now 23 years old and only days away from being a father himself.I can remember that joke like it was yesterday.ScottThat was funny!Alex came out with an original joke a few weeks ago. It had Mary and I rolling in laughter so hard (and we were out eating). Got to wait till tomorrow (already had my one joke today).. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magish01 Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Kid down the street just came up to be grinning ear to ear and asked if I would like to hear a joke...........What's brown and rhymes with Snoop....?(With a kid telling me this I thought I knew where this was going but...)Dr. Dre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 james campbell wrote: Reindeer's Story at ChristmasAccording to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.We should have known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.ROFLMAO. My wife's gonna love this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james campbell Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 magish01 wrote: Kid down the street just came up to be grinning ear to ear and asked if I would like to hear a joke...........What's brown and rhymes with Snoop....?(With a kid telling me this I thought I knew where this was going but...)Dr. Drelol and lol again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimswinder Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 George Simmons wrote: There once was a gal from Nantucket... Who carried her pixels in a bucket...She tried every night..To get them to light...But without e1.31 she said "#@%*&@" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james campbell Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 jimswinder wrote: George Simmons wrote: There once was a gal from Nantucket... Who carried her pixels in a bucket...She tried every night..To get them to light...But without e1.31 she said "#@%*&@"I fell off my roof at that one,so it fomrlmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shfr26 Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 jimswinder wrote: George Simmons wrote: There once was a gal from Nantucket... Who carried her pixels in a bucket...She tried every night..To get them to light...But without e1.31 she said "#@%*&@"Good one Jim!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Don Gillespie Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 jimswinder wrote: George Simmons wrote: There once was a gal from Nantucket... Who carried her pixels in a bucket...She tried every night..To get them to light...But without e1.31 she said "#@%*&@"sometimes you wait a while for a good one, but not this time, good one Jim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimswinder Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 Don Gillespie wrote: jimswinder wrote: George Simmons wrote: There once was a gal from Nantucket... Who carried her pixels in a bucket...She tried every night..To get them to light...But without e1.31 she said "#@%*&@"sometimes you wait a while for a good one, but not this time, good one Jim.gotta give the credit to George...his first line "inspired" me!! :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightORamaDan Posted May 29, 2012 Author Share Posted May 29, 2012 This was a family joke that may not be funny but no rule says the jokes have to be funny.Mary, Alex and I were out for dinner one evening. I had been complaining a bit with Alex (happens alot with a 57 year old dad and a 12 year old son)...Any how Alex was having a hard time finding something to order. I was looking trough the wine list (looking for some beer) and Alex asked "what menu is that... I said it is the wine list... He said did you find your name on it? obviously he felt wine was spelled whine.Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Don Gillespie Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 LightORamaDan wrote: This was a family joke that may not be funny but no rule says the jokes have to be funny.Mary, Alex and I were out for dinner one evening. I had been complaining a bit with Alex (happens alot with a 57 year old dad and a 12 year old son)...Any how Alex was having a hard time finding something to order. I was looking trough the wine list (looking for some beer) and Alex asked "what menu is that... I said it is the wine list... He said did you find your name on it? obviously he felt wine was spelled whine.Danand he is only twelve? LOL wait till he is thirteen it gets better, you might want to switch to Crown Royal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimswinder Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 LightORamaDan wrote: I was looking trough the wine list (looking for some beer) and Alex asked, "What menu is that?' I said, "It is the wine list."He said. "Did you find your name on it? I LIKE this kid!!!! I'll expect to see him next year on "Americas Got Talent"!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james campbell Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 Don Gillespie wrote: LightORamaDan wrote: This was a family joke that may not be funny but no rule says the jokes have to be funny.Mary, Alex and I were out for dinner one evening. I had been complaining a bit with Alex (happens alot with a 57 year old dad and a 12 year old son)...Any how Alex was having a hard time finding something to order. I was looking trough the wine list (looking for some beer) and Alex asked "what menu is that... I said it is the wine list... He said did you find your name on it? obviously he felt wine was spelled whine.Danand he is only twelve? LOL wait till he is thirteen it gets better, you might want to switch to Crown Royal+1 on that,mine is 13 now and bot is he a handfull:? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J_Plak Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 May not be a joke! but Good!! Attached files Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightORamaDan Posted May 30, 2012 Author Share Posted May 30, 2012 J_Plak wrote:May not be a joke! but Good!!Perfect ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 What are the 3 words you don't want to hear while making love?I'm home, dear! (Highlight with mouse to see answer.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts