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I feel sick ...

Tom B.

By Tom B.
in LOR S2 Software Suite

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Tom B. Member

Tom B.

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Dear Boss,

I fear I'm getting a fever. (Cough) Also, I think my sinuses aren't draining ... (sniffffffffff) I think I'm going to need to be at home on Friday, and probably through all of next week ... (cough, cough, sniffffffffff) ... I wouldn't want to infect the entire office, and ruin everyone's Turkey-Day. So, I'll just stay home and try to get better.

Also, I think my cellphone isn't going to be working either -- something about increased solar-flare activity, and global warming. So, if you need me, just email me, I'll probably be near my computer ... and may be able to respond. (cough, sniff, cough, cough, snifffffff, swallow, cough, spit)

And, if you're at home on Friday eve and it seems there was a brief loss of power ... just ignore it ... and remember, I didn't have anything to do with it. (sniff, choak, cough, cough, cough, sigh, excuse me, be right back, ahhhh, sniffffffffff, cough.)

Oh, if you happen to read through my email for some reason and you see anything about LORII being released on Friday ... please ignore it, it is just some spam-mail that I get; and, I definitely will not be at home glued to my computer using the new software.

Thanks,

Tom

PS: I'm heading to the store on my way home, to pick up a few things for my extended illness ... if you need anything let me know, here's my list:


  • Case of Redbull ... don't want to be drowsy from the "cold medicine"
  • Several bags of snacks ... feed a cold
  • A larger computer screen ... this is because the cold is affecting my sense of sight
  • A new, more comfortable desk chair for my home computer ... when you are sick, you should be comfortable
  • A large bottle of Eye Drops ... again, cold related
  • A couple cases of Coors Light (a known cure for the common cold)
  • And some extra extension cords ... uh, these are for my electric blanket ... yeah, that's it my electric blanket


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johnny christmas Member

johnny christmas

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Tom B. wrote:



Oh, if you happen to read through my email for some reason and you see anything about LORII being released on Friday ...


is this unofficially official news?

your sources are?

funny letter though...ill be printing it up and giving it to my boss :)
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Tom B. Member

Tom B.

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Short Answer:


  • "NO" ... the thoughts expressed in my note to my boss are mine, and based on wishful thinking, and some possible hints found in other threads in this section.


Long Answer:


  • Scanning through other threads I thought I might have read something that made me start to think I would (need to) be sick on Friday. (Purposefully vague, I do not want to anger the LOR-gods.)
  • I have learned to not believe what I read. But, something sounded interesting.
  • I have also learned to not spit into the wind ... or pull on Superman's cape. (Or predict the actions of the LOR-gods.)
  • But, more than anything, I have learned that I should not count any chickens before they hatch. But, I do know how to "candle" an egg.


Happy reading ...

T.

PS: http://lightorama.mywowbb.com/forum72/15112-3.html

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Push Eject Member

Push Eject

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There was only one glaring MISTAKE I could find in your letter, Tom:
Tom B. wrote:

  • A couple cases of Coors Light


Stick to an American Craft beer and you're good to go. :)

Charlie
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Tom B. Member

Tom B.

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Charlie,

Based on your picture, I was thinking you at least would comment on the Coors Light choice. But, alas, I am a Coors Light devote'. And, although, I'm sure, you will dispute the next statement, I will make it anyway: "Coors Light IS a Premium Beer" ... :cool: ...


  • It used to say so right on the can ... and we know that marketing departments never lie.
  • It takes twice as many to get drunk as one of your "garage beers" ... therefore, one must pay a premium to end up with the same result. Therefore, "Premium Beer"
  • It cures the common cold, the flu, and although still in testing, I believe it may be a immunization serum for Alzheimers. [if you wish I will go through the various therapy dosages for each at a later time.]
  • And, the most compelling reason: One OREO cookie plus the milk it takes to eat it correctly has the same amount of calories as a Coors Light. Using the standard A=B, B=C, therefore A=C Method ... I'm sure you will appreciate the following logic:

    • OREO is a Premium Cookie ... clearly an american classic, with few rivals
    • As previously discussed, nature has given both the OREO and a Coors Light the same value ... with one exception, Coors Light has no fat. Whereas a OREO is over half fat. Therefore, one might say that the Coors Light is even better than the OREO.
    • But, for sake of arguement ... we will assume equal value.
    • Sooooo, OREO equals Premium Cookie, Coors Light equals OREO, therefore, Coors Light equals Premium Beer. [Note: Everyone knows that Beer and Cookies are essentially the same thing ... thus cancelling each other out in the equation.]


    [*]Further evidence suggests the following:


    • OREOs have no medicinal value ... point to Coors Light.
    • Although the package suggests that one serving of OREOs is actually only ONE cookie, I submit that a serving is the amount of OREOs that would fit between the end of my index finger, and the end of my thumb. This is approx. 10 cookies.
    • Using the above facts ... to drink the equivalent in Coors Light ... would likely mean that I had a really fun evening. Whereas eating the OREOs would mean I spent 10 minutes ... although I would be happy, it would not be the same.
    • Further, the next day ... after eating the OREOs, I feel that I would weigh more. After drinking 10 Coors Light during the previous evening, I have proven that I actually weigh less the next morning.


So, to sum up:


  2. OREO = Premium = Coors Light
  3. Better than vitamin C ... Coors Light IS the wonder drug of the future ... but available today
  4. Will actually cause one to loose weight
  5. Makes one extremely happy
  6. Is not made in a garage
  7. And ... proves, "Beer doesn't have to taste bad to be a good beer."


Happy Travels,

T.

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Robin Member

Robin

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So Johnny Christmas, do you just pop in and give these wonderful words of inspiration never to read the thread again?

Go back to what you spouted off yesterday and you will find your answer. II will be released in Gamma form on Friday and many questions will be answered by the BETA Testers on this forum only.

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Push Eject Member

Push Eject

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Tom B. that was a spectacular post and you are to be commended. Coors light is indeed a quality product.

Nonetheless, if you are ever near my garage I will introduce you to the world of full-flavored beer.

I am totally LOR II ready.

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jeffandnicole Member

jeffandnicole

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Now, there's no reason to be overly-dramatic. Just causally mention to your boss Thursday that you are planning on trying that new restaurant when you leave work. It doesn't matter if it's a Mickey D's or a squanky dress-to-impress place, any new restaurant is fine.

Friday morning, call work, and let them know that you got food poisoning at that new restaurant. You've been sitting on the toilet all night, and you think if you actually made it to work, you'll be doing just the same there.

On Monday, call work again, and let them know that you gave the restaurant one more try Sunday, and you got food poisoning again. But you'll most definitely be in Tuesday. This food poisioning clears up quick!

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Harbs Member

Harbs

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Just curious, what is Gamma form?

I assume LOR II will not be released to the general public on Friday.

It does not really matter to me, I am doing just fine with LOR I.

Not sure I would take any chances using LOR II at this time frame.

Thanks,

Harbs

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Tom B. Member

Tom B.

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Charlie,

I've had a many a fine beer in a garage, so you are on. I'll try to find some reason to be out your way. Just be sure to have some Coors Light as a chaser.

Glad you enjoyed my thesis.

Later, :shock::cool::]

T.

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Nonick22 Member

Nonick22

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Robin wrote:

So Johnny Christmas, do you just pop in and give these wonderful words of inspiration never to read the thread again?

Go back to what you spouted off yesterday and you will find your answer. II will be released in Gamma form on Friday and many questions will be answered by the BETA Testers on this forum only.





Robin,

I read through all the posts yesterday. The beer and turkey and others but found now post of what you are talking about here. All I see is speculation that it may be out Friday and there is information in the beta section that we cant see.


Tom
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Tom B. Member

Tom B.

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Nonick -

Seems Robin and Johnny are suffering from CSS (Christmas Stress Syndrome). Hope it will pass.

As for the "rumor" ... yes, Turkey and Beer ARE good!

T.

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Tom B. Member

Tom B.

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Okay, while we wait ... here's something to make you smile:

The 12 Days of Christmas as performed (if that is the correct word) by the McKenzie brothers in the movie Strange Brew.

Bob: Okay, good day, this is our Christmas part of the album, and you can play this at your Christmas parties, uh, or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if there's nothing else to do.

Doug: Good day, eh? In case you thought, like, I wasn't on this part!

Bob: Oh, I guarantee ya, you'd be on. Okay, so, good day, this is the Christmas part, and, we're gonna tell you what to get, uh, your true love for Christmas.

Doug: Look out the window!

Bob: Where?! Whadda ya doing?

Doug: Snow, hosehead.

Bob: Wha? Oh, it's the Great White North, and it's snowing, cause it's Christmas time. Hey, hoser!

Doug: What?

Bob: Here's a quiz. Quiz for Doug.

Doug: Okay, I have my thinking touque on.

Bob: Yeah, right. What are the twelve days of Christmas? Cause, figure it out, right. Christmas is when?

Doug: Uh, the 25th.

Bob: Right, and what's the 24th, Christmas Eve, right? So, that's two. And then, what's after that?

Doug: Um... Uh, Wrestling Day.

Bob: No. Get out.

Doug: Boxing Day, yeah, yeah.

Bob: That's three. Then what's after that? Nothing.

Doug: New Year's.

Bob: Four. And what's...

Doug: New Year's Eve.

Bob: Five. Where do you get twelve?

Doug: Uh... There's two Saturdays and Sundays in there, that's four. That's nine. And, three other days, which I believe are the mystery days.

(Music starts.)

Bob: Okay now. This is our Christmas song, in case you don't know what to get somebody for Christmas.

Doug: There's lots of ideas in here, so, listen, and don't get stuck.

Bob: Okay.
Doug: By the way, that's me on the organ.
Bob: Aw, geez.

Doug: You start.

Bob: Okay. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a beer.

Doug: On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: two turtlenecks,

Bob: And a beer. (Okay...) On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: three French toast,

Doug: Two turtlenecks,

Bob: And a beer. (Okay...)

Doug: There should be more there, eh?

Bob: Where? On the... go.

Doug: Fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: four pounds of backbacon,

Bob: Three French toast,

Doug: Two turtlenecks,

Bob: And a beer.

Doug: In a tree. See, you need more.

Bob: Fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: five golden touques!

Doug: Four pounds of backbacon,

Bob: Three French toast,

Doug Two turtlenecks,

Bob: And a beer, what was it?

Together: In a tree!

Bob: Okay, on the sixth... go.

Doug: Of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six packs of Tuborg,

Bob: & BG Singers Five golden touques!

Doug: Four pounds of backbacon,

Bob: Three French toast,

Doug: Two turtlenecks,

Bob: And a beer,

Together: In a tree!

Bob: Okay.

Doug: Okay.

Bob: On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: seven packs of smokes,

Doug: (Nice gift...) Oh, six packs of Tuborg! (BG Singers also sing "nice gift".)

Bob & BG Singers: Five golden touques!

Doug: Four pounds of backbacon,

Bob: Three French toast,

Doug: Two turtlenecks,

Bob: And a beer,

Together: In a tree!

Bob: Right, I keep forgetting.

Doug: Phew! This should just be the two days of Christmas, it's too hard for us!

Bob: Um...

Doug: Go, hoser.

Bob: Oh.

Together: Eigth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Doug: Eight comic books,

All: Seven packs of smokes, six packs of Tuborg,

(Bob and Doug become unsynchronized with the BG Singers, and quit singing.)

BG Singers: Five golden touques! Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks,

All: And a beer,

Doug: On my tree!

Bob: Yeah. That beer's empty. Okay. Day,

BG Singers: Twelve!

Bob: Uh, twelve.
Doug: Good day, and welcome to day twelve.
BG Singers: Five golden touques!

All: Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks, and a beer, in a tree!

Bob: Beauty, eh?

Doug: Where'd you learn to do that?

Bob: Uh, albums.

Doug: Boy. So, like, that's our song, Merry Christmas...

Bob: Merry Christmas!

Doug: And good day!

Bob: Good day, everybody. Happy New Year, too. Sheesh. Okay, you know what you left out?

Doug: What?

Bob: Donuts - I told you to get me donuts! Either on the ninth day or the tenth day, or the eleventh day, I wanted donuts!

Doug: Okay, the song's over.

Bob: But I want...

Doug: Merry Christmas, everybody!

Bob: Or on the twelfth day, you coulda got me a dozen donuts.

Doug: So, go out to the stores, and get some presents.

Bob: You coulda gone down to, like, the good donut shop, where if you buy a dozen, you get another one free, and then thirteen for the thirteen days of Christmas.

Doug: Well, next Christmas, I'll get me a chainsaw...

Bob: Take off!

Doug: Boy, that song was a beauty. It moved me...

Bob: Yeah, I think it ranks up there with Stairway to Heaven...

Doug: Wha-?

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