Darryl Lambert Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Is it just me or are there others in this situation. Money not being what it used to be and wanting MORE. Do you find that you have to hide your purchaces from the other half ? Don't get me wrong my wife loves the lights but I've gotten a bit of static when she saw the $700 bill from actionlighting. Nevermind that I need another 48 channels this year, waiting for the summer sale. I mean she sees new things/materials show up at the house but I find I usually understate it's value just to avoid the lecture on bugetary constraints.So I was just wondering what everyone else does or to what extent they go to keep harmony in the house.DarrylP.S. Those 48 channels I need will be purchased with the brother-in laws credit card.
Guest Don Gillespie Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 She's going to find out it doesn't matter what you do I just tell my wife there is no way we can run our show without it she loves the lights but I also have never hid anything from her I usaully take her along on the shopping trip she is so hooked she picks stuff out and then I buy it works great good luck
jimswinder Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Might help if a package arrives for HER, before the Christmas LOR packages arrive...You don't want to give the impression that you love the hobby more than her by spending money on it and not the wife...Women would rather be hurt by the truth than hurt by a lie...
jim6918 Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I make most (if not all) of my purchases from a credit union savings account that is fed thru a payroll deduction. Wifey doesn't know the full impact of the cost of my addiction. I am sure she suspects based on conversations she overhears when people ask about doing an LOR display for themselves. I don't really like being deceptive, but if she asked I would not lie. I am sure any concern she has about cost goes out the window when the display is running and she gets to take full credit for it. Since she hates putting up the lights, I am sure she feels it's better is she just keeps quiet during the off-season.
GaryBo Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I am fortunate to have a wife, who is an “enabler”. Not only does she support my addiction, most often, she is as enthusiastic as I am (within reason). I don't smoke, drink, go to Casinos (live in Las Vegas), nor do I play golf (now that's an expensive habit). Rationale, it is more cost effective to have a Christmas lighting addiction, than any or all of those. Although the majority of the physical work, and “engineering” of the display(s) is done by me, she is involved in almost all aspects of our display. She has been asked by several people, just how much does all “this” cost? Her reply has always been the same “I just don't even want to know”. I have never hid anything from her, but she knows, I have spent a “few” bucks. She has never questioned. I am a cancer survivor (10 years out), and she knows the lighting keeps me focused and keeps me going all year round. We both are retired and on pensions, but don't miss what we have spent on our lights. We feel we get back so much more from those who watch our display.
emcee Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 My wife know that I am eccentric and accepts that. She indulges this hobby and enjoys the results. She and I both enjoy the Christmas season and have been decorating for 25+ years. She has never questioned what I spend, but she knows the amounts as we share all of our account information. I secretly believe she feels it is better to have me around the house spending money than away spending money.
George Simmons Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Wow - talk about a thorny ethical dilemma... our financial situation sounds like it closely mirrors Darryl's, so I can relate to not being completely upfront and answering questions that haven't been asked. Don's idea for taking the spouse along on shopping trips is a great one, and it works. As long as she's interested in going along, that is... and Jim's suggestion to make sure she gets a package every now and then is ALWAYS a good idea.I'm with Garybo in that I don't smoke (cigarettes anyway), drink, gamble, golf, fish, hunt or spend much on anything else except maybe gardening. So looking at it that way works well for me, also. I think deep down Sharon knows "we" spend a bit more on our display than she tallies up in her mind, but as long as she accepts vague answers and fuzzy math, I'm not going to rock the boat - although I can truthfully say that I've never lied about how much an item cost. But this is definitely one of those times when having a faulty memory is a blessing I think. "What do you mean there's six controllers in the box - I thought I only ordered five..."
Shubb Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Honesty is the best policy, but ignorance is bliss!!!We have a "don't ask, don't tell" attitude. She doesn't know how much it cost, and I sure don't offer any info.Having a seperate credit card billing address and shipping address to the shop doesn't hurt though......and you have to bring stuff home in moderation. Instead of a pallet of lights, I bring home a box a week.
lightzilla Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Darryl Lambert wrote: P.S. Those 48 channels I need will be purchased with the brother-in laws credit card.You guys can stone me for what I am about to say, but that is O K since I am hundreds of miles from most of you, even a few thousand miles.Woman (wives ) have more knowledge in their baby finger than most of us guys have in our big head. We may think we hide stuff from them but somehow they find out, even if they do not mention it to you that they know.I come right out and say I bought 16 channels today, or I am heading to Canada Costco to buy 32 boxes of blue & 32 boxes white LEDs, and 32 boxes of green.I told my wife I am buying a Champion Show Dog, she said fine, just as long as you pay all of the Vets bills that the dog may need. So I pay the Vet and she gets the dog, and that is another dog that was meant for me that prefers my wife over me. It is a good idea to buy her a gift and take her out for dinner, and add flowers in their as well.Doing work around the house helps too.I refuse to go in debt for Christmas controllers or Christmas gifts...........cash for all those things, if I cannot afford it I do not buy it.I did get a Lor Show Time controller and 2 enclosures from a fellow in Canada for $200.00 Canadian including shipping.......... it was going to be 3 enclosures but the fellow could not fit the 3rd one in the box.Two free enclosures means I can just buy the PC card only with H D heat sinks installed in the Summer sale, and wires for about $150.00 each or there about, if i have the bucks.
shfr26 Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 You guys are better than me, Married 36 years , SHE KNOWS if I'm not telling the truth. She got me started here, so I can just try to blame her, And I do mean try.
lightzilla Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 shfr26 wrote: You guys are better than me, Married 36 years , SHE KNOWS if I'm not telling the truth. She got me started here, so I can just try to blame her, And I do mean try.I agree they know. That is why I said what I said.
George Simmons Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 shfr26 wrote: You guys are better than me, Married 36 years , SHE KNOWS if I'm not telling the truth. She got me started here, so I can just try to blame her, And I do mean try.I never said I lied. (Sharon knows me well enough also to know if I'm not telling the truth.) But there are questions I'll work hard as hell to avoid answering."How much?" is slowly becoming a question that just doesn't get asked very often around here. (When it does, I fess up. Usually she just scowls or shrugs in a sad sort of way.) I don't very often ask her what she spends on all the things that UPS brings to the house with her name on them, and for the most part she's the same. Of course, getting home earlier than your mate is definitely something I'd recommend adding to any guy's aresnal.And like Pete, SHE got ME started here, too. That counts for something (if only guilt) and I don't hesitate to use it wherever necessary.
Guest Don Gillespie Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 George you had to bring up golfing didn't you I can buy as much light O rama stuff as I want but try to sneak out for one golf game LOL I agree with everyone on this get what you can afford and never overspend unless it is something totally awsome and no one else has it
Bob Wingert Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I have 2 solutions to try:What I had to do after the wife seeing over $4K in CC purchases to light vendors/LOR/ETC...ETC...ETC...a) If you have the money, take the cash and go get a prepaid visa card from Wal-Mart. Have the stuff shipped to your job/friends house. Anywhere but home! When the time's right, unpack it, sneak it inside and bury it amongst your other stuff.Knock on wood, this has helped me with my last 2 "secret" purchases
larry oneill Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 i think honesty is the best policy. i just go ahead and buy it when i know we can afford it !! then the next day when she checks the bank account its to late!!! and then beg for forgivness!!!!!
Dave H1 Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Darryl Lambert wrote: Money not being what it used to be and wanting MORE. Do you find that you have to hide your purchaces from the other half ? Don't get me wrong my wife loves the lights but I've gotten a bit of static when she saw the $700 bill from actionlighting. Nevermind that I need another 48 channels this year, waiting for the summer sale. I mean she sees new things/materials show up at the house but I find I usually understate it's value just to avoid the lecture on bugetary constraints.So I was just wondering what everyone else does or to what extent they go to keep harmony in the house.DarrylIt becomes rather difficult to hide my new toys when she has the closet over-flowing with her shoes and other clothes / accessories, that appear to multiple on a monthly basis. Actually, I'm very fortunate and have a very undertanding bride who will be even more understanding once I build the storage building in the back yard and get the LOR / LED over-flow out of HER FAMILY ROOM.
jimswinder Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Dave H1 wrote: get the LOR / LED over-flow out of HER FAMILY ROOM.let's face it...the house is THEIR domain...we're lucky if we get a little space in the garage to call our own...
lightzilla Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 jimswinder wrote: let's face it...the house is THEIR domain...we're lucky if we get a little space in the garage to call our own... You have that right. My wife wants me to take the Dune buggy out of the garage and put it else where, "like in some deep lake".I want to sale it but up this way Quads rule, and so trying to sale it (the buggy) would be hard.
jimswinder Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 lightzilla wrote: My wife wants me to take the Dune buggy out of the garage and put it else where, "like in some deep lake".Hey...just more room for Christmas stuff!!!
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