Guest wbottomley Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 This has been a productive weekend. I'm running on very little sleep and food but a lot of lights have been taken down. My Robin Wheel's, Castle, five mega-trees, Bellagio Towers, animated characters and a few more things are ready to be hauled back to the storage facility.By late Sunday afternoon, I was getting hungry and ran out of food. So... I was at WalMart buying a bag of Purina dog chow for my dog , in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT!?!? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in inten......sive care, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geronc Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 My stomach hurts from laughing..... That was the funniest thing I have heard in a while. NICE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scubado Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Glad to see the humor back! Awesome story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WilliamS Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Man that is a great one. Some people are just so oblivious to the obvious its no longer funny. This is the perfect example of someone who deserved that answer. The reason you were in intensive care, simply brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CKSedg Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 That was hilarious. My wife and I both laughed and laughed at it. I can't believe you could come up with something like that at the spur of the moment. I always think of things like that AFTER the moment is over.Keep them coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TitusCarnathan Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 That is a perfect case ofThere's your sign Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TitusCarnathan Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 oh wait is it here's your sign or theres your sign Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TitusCarnathan Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 normally my responce to a question like that would be why no I am just buyinh it for the fun of it (normally last few words might be rewirtten) then about 30 minutes after I always come up with a great smart allec responce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeiilll Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Perfect answer for her.I love to do that to people who ask the slightly obvious answer things myself.The last time I bought some dog food (now I really don't have a dog mind you, I buy it to feed to the wild foxes, raccoons, crows, and other wildlife that visit), the cashier in the little quick stop I pick mine up at gave me the off the wall "Oh I see your dog is going to be very happy today".So I just looked at her and said "Oh I don't have a dog, I'm on my way to a Christmas party and the host asked me to stop and pick up some as they were running low on snacks for the guests".One lady who was sitting there drinking a cup of coffee did spit out a bit but the cashier just looked at me with the biggest eyes you ever saw!Ah, sometimes life can be fun out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Rise Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 That was GREAT Will! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Now that was funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Batzdorf Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Very funny! As long as the wifey doesn't decide to have you spade!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DownTown Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 wbottomley wrote: ...it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say! Attached files Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TitusCarnathan Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Just out of weird timing while in walmart todayI saw someone from my church his wife than came up with a shopping cart full of cat food and out of no where she said that this is his diet (cat food diet) she said it has all the nutrients etc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TitusCarnathan Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 note: the died for her husband not the cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick Childers Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 What I would have given to be in that line! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travis p Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 william now ill have to add that even i got a kick out of that onea A+ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R Weiland Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 An excellent response to a stupid question. Oops I mean obvious question;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denis Chaput Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Good one!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve synek Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I keep telling myself to take a break from lurking...............but I would miss out on a story like this...........my eyes are running from laughing so hard.Great story!!!!!Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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