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New Years Resolution


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Posted

I am going to try to be more helpful on the forum by NOT trying to help

(ya right) :P

Posted

I will not give any smart a$$ answers, yea right.

Posted

i promise NOT to ask another dumb question, i promise!! .... ummmm yeaaaahhh

Posted

I WILL go from 0 to 112 channels by December! ...Hopefully...

Posted

I resolve NOT to wake Jeff up in the middle of the night to go troll hunting anymore...

yeah right...

Posted

George Simmons wrote:

go troll hunting anymore...

Speaking of “Trolls'


This is a true story:
My Brother is a mental health counselor for the State of Arkansas. He related the following story, reported to be true:


A “mentally challenged” young man was at home. He called his Mother at work, and told her there was a Mutant Troll on the porch and was trying to get in the house. The Mother told the young man. “Just capture it, put it in the closet, and I will take care of it when I get home”. The Mother hung up and having second thoughts, became concerned, and contacted Police, who went to the house to check on the young man.
Well it seems that there was in fact, a Mutant Troll in the closet, in the guise of a Female, Midget, Jehovah's Witness.
Posted

Now, that there is funny!!!:P:D

Posted

Thirty-some years ago I peed on the shoes of a Jehovah's Witness in San Antonio when they wouldn't leave me alone. They got the message and I cleared some beer.

Posted

George Simmons wrote:

Thirty-some years ago I peed on the shoes of a Jehovah's Witness in San Antonio when they wouldn't leave me alone. They got the message and I cleared some beer.

Just think how bad it could have been if they would have stolen your parking spot....offering them a beer is usually enough to make them leave...:)
Guest Don Gillespie
Posted

George Simmons wrote:

Thirty-some years ago I peed on the shoes of a Jehovah's Witness in San Antonio when they wouldn't leave me alone. They got the message and I cleared some beer.

What you got something against them today? I will send some to your door you start drinking beer ok ok maybe I shouldn't go here yea right
Posted

Don Gillespie wrote:

What you got something against them today? I will send some to your door you start drinking beer...

I'm sure most of them are nice people. It's their door-to-door peddling I resent. They must consider our town a lost cause - we only get visited a couple times a year. And ever since we've had Sonny - an aggressive Sharpei who doesn't look very friendly as he's snarling and lunging against the fence - we haven't had many people ring our doorbell.

Back in the '70s, San Antonio was crawling with them. And they were a lot more aggressive and persistent than today's variety. (Maybe they had recruiting contests of some kind going on back then or something...) And if I remember correctly a couple buddies were at the house that day, which means that either beer or tequila WAS involved...
Posted

George Simmons wrote:

Don Gillespie wrote:
What you got something against them today? I will send some to your door you start drinking beer...

I'm sure most of them are nice people. It's their door-to-door peddling I resent. They must consider our town a lost cause - we only get visited a couple times a year. And ever since we've had Sonny - an aggressive Sharpei who doesn't look very friendly as he's snarling and lunging against the fence - we haven't had many people ring our doorbell.

Back in the '70s, San Antonio was crawling with them. And they were a lot more aggressive and persistent than today's variety. (Maybe they had recruiting contests of some kind going on back then or something...) And if I remember correctly a couple buddies were at the house that day, which means that either beer or tequila WAS involved...

They must not be as courageous in TX as in FL...not even my mastiffs were ever able to scare them away..it usually took a firm "no, not interested, please leave my property..NOW" to get them to leave...

We just got a westie puppy who thinks he is 300 pounds, not 3...so maybe if I turn him lose on them, they will finally go away and never return...
Posted

DonFL wrote:

they will finally go away and never return...

No, they have the Arnold syndrome, "I'll Be Back"
Guest Don Gillespie
Posted

George Simmons wrote:

Don Gillespie wrote:
What you got something against them today? I will send some to your door you start drinking beer...

I'm sure most of them are nice people. It's their door-to-door peddling I resent. They must consider our town a lost cause - we only get visited a couple times a year. And ever since we've had Sonny - an aggressive Sharpei who doesn't look very friendly as he's snarling and lunging against the fence - we haven't had many people ring our doorbell.

Back in the '70s, San Antonio was crawling with them. And they were a lot more aggressive and persistent than today's variety. (Maybe they had recruiting contests of some kind going on back then or something...) And if I remember correctly a couple buddies were at the house that day, which means that either beer or tequila WAS involved...

Your funny if they were nice they wouldn't knock on my door and ask if I have heard the word about jehova I have adopted your method of treating the situation without hostility I keep 3 cans of beer by the back door just in case and I am installing an automatic zipper opener LOL
Posted

Don Gillespie wrote:

Your funny if they were nice they wouldn't knock on my door and ask if I have heard the word about jehova I have adopted your method of treating the situation without hostility I keep 3 cans of beer by the back door just in case and I am installing an automatic zipper opener LOL

Don't install a reverse switch! :shock:
Guest Don Gillespie
Posted

scubado wrote:

Don Gillespie wrote:
Your funny if they were nice they wouldn't knock on my door and ask if I have heard the word about jehova I have adopted your method of treating the situation without hostility I keep 3 cans of beer by the back door just in case and I am installing an automatic zipper opener LOL

Don't install a reverse switch! :shock:

ROTFLMAO :D:D:D
Posted

Just tell them that their New World translation bible they use is not the word of God, but a translation they made up to suit their own belief. Tell them that their bible is from the Westcot & Hort corrupt manuscripts & then stomp your feet (that means you shake the dust off and so forth).......they may stomp there feet too, but you do that one more time and they should not bug you again. Or they will bring in heavy artillery.

I did that before. Worked great.

Posted

My college roommate had a dismantled gun, it never could be put back together, but every time he saw them across the apartment complex he spread it out on the table next to the window near the front door, and went to work cleaning it. They would come up the steps, look in the window, turn around and head down the steps.

We had a hard time keeping our laughter down until they were out of earshot.

Posted

Jeff Millard wrote:

I don't know why this turned into a thread about how to run off door to door mutants... But I've always liked th Santaria approach. As long as you have a pet rabbit this one is easy. Answer the door carrying the rabbit by the neck in one hand, and have an oversized meat cleaver in the other... Tell them they're just in time for the sacrifice and invite them to make their pitch at the alter in the dungeo...er...basement....

Jeff

Overheard in the Millard house...:D:D

"Honey, what do you think about getting the kids a pet rabbit..I just may need to borrow it once in awhile..."
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